PRE-PAY

 

 Why is gas so damn expensive…..

One day it’s $1,343 dollars a gallon, the next day is $2,693,5970!! it fluctuates like a Tijuana crack whore’s blow job prices…I fill up, then about 12 minutes later I have to fill up again, like a meth addict in denial…

When I accidently slide my library card in the reader at the pump, because I’m so fucking wasted from the doobi I just inhaled….. and the smokes billowing out of my car like a volcanic eruption— every dumb bitch next to me is staring at me like I’m a god damn wax museum… I hear some assbag overhead on the p.a. system (so everyone on the fucking planet can hear) telling me to “prepay” first…..

While I’m walking over to the mother fucker, not only are my ears ringing– like I just came from a Slayer concert… swan diving onto the fucking lunatics in the mosh pit….I’m thinking, how the fuck am I supposed to know how much my fucking little 1736 Dodge Dart gas tank will hold— and I’m also wondering if they have any of those fucking hot dogs that rotate like a slaughtered raccoon in a fire. to cure my munchie cravings

Instead of making one trip and doing everything at once, I have to make 5 trips 

One to pay the son of a bitch 

 One to go pump 

….. Another to get my change back 

 And one to go back and kick his ass…after I grab the pool stick from the car

  And one more to walk back to my car…with a blood stained shirt and my knuckles sore from hitting his jaw so fucking hard it shattered…. 

 The moral of the story is FUCK prepay 

But you do feel good…when you see him in a bodycast and an IV attached to his neck…..        minutes later when you fill your tank again!!!