BOOKS

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I love the library

 It’s my escape from the loony bin I call life…the only problem is there is always the same old bastard sitting in the comfiest chair in the fucking  joint, and everytime I walk by he eyes me down like a pervert sifting through a panty drawer

I have never seen a homosexual grandpa…you would think that by now his balls have shriveled up into his intestines and his penis is about as useless as Paula Abdul on American Idol…

I guess Mildred doesn’t mind blowing a sack of potatoes with kitten balls every night, after bingo at the emphysema clinic downtown…..

I read 80 more books today…every book in the library I have read, and I like only one titled “Fuck This”… the old bitches behind the counter are probably thinking “who in the fuck reads this much shit”

They say you can’t judge a book by it’s cover…whoever said that needs to be electrocuted like Clay Aiken after he sings the National Anthem at dodger’s stadium on july 4th…

I open up a book read a few lines….then I close it, sord of like the car door I slammed the other day with my fucking hand still in it ……

I was about ready to scream like a guy who got an axe thrown through his chest,  instead I threw a branch at some sorry fuck who was walking out of the store with a gallon of milk in his hand….

 it splattered on the ground like a fucking atom bomb…so I didn’t feel like being at the scene when flight for life came…so I sped off with my tires squeeling like a pig getting slaughtered with a butter knife

The moral is….use common sense when selecting your next book, if I open a book with a unicorn on it…i’d puke worse than Ralph Macchio-after a night out with Mr. Miaggi bar hopping to every gay saloon downtown getting trashed…

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