Kittens

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If you have cats,or satanic kittens then you know all about the fucking plague most people call the litter box

I have never seen shit the size of my waist from a 2 ounce kitten… When I scoop what looks like a ruptured spleen from the plague box…I have to wear a fucking gas mask!! 

  and on top of that I have to go inside my hyperbaric chamber to de-contaminate the disease………but, the fucking stench still sifts through like a chemistry experiment that went fucking A.W.O.L!!!!

After I’m done scooping the kryptonite…I take the mittens I was wearing and throw them in the fireplace to burn for all eternity. Then I take a bath in lactic acid to wash away any fucking disease that may have splashed on me….like my old man’s colostomy bag did when he shifted in his sleep last night…

Now I have to call vanilla Ice from the home depot to clean it up!!

To top off a wonderful fucked up experience…I pour gasoline all over myself and then light the match!! It’s always fun to know, like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day that you have to do it all again…the next god damn day!!

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