If you have ever been to court, get ready for a roller coaster ride of shit getting thrown at you…it’s enough to make you jump into a burning river…
The ticket you received from the cop–because you were jaywalking across the street with a herd of antelope trailing behind you on a leash……after the night of fist-fighting animals at the zoo, because you drank about 7 bottles of petron , after a heated argument and tears with your girl.
The ticket says to be in court at 8 am sharp to sign in…and if you are not there you will receive the death penalty
So I got there extra early…waiting for the rent a cop’s to open the fucking door to the “security checkpoint”…. where they wave a wand in your anus and humiliate you in front of every sick fuck…that walks through the chamber doors to hell…
Then when I layed down my jacket to be scanned…it somehow got caught, clogging up the belt …causing the scanner to spew enough smoke to power up a Snoop Dog concert
I didn’t get in to see the fucking judge until about three that afternoon….I was more pissed than an irate chimp who just got his nuts guillotined on accident, by the new zoo keeper Rebecca
I watched all the criminally insane fucks walk through the halls, like they were filming “Land of the Dead – Nine” and I was just an extra who was about to be eaten alive and blood splattered against the fucking wall….. I was ready to pick up a bench and throw it across the room and hit a fucking zombie right in the adam’s apple
I was more irratable than my grandpa, who was trying to tazer the god damn nurses at the retirement home, because they were forcing him to take his metamucil
Instead of sleeping in my bed, I had to sleep on a wall of piss stains…next to some homeless crack fuck, who decided to lay his sick, decaying, alcohol infested… trenchcoat next to my nose…where as I had to roll him out of his black garbage bag to fist fight me…
I would have been better off at a greyhound station in Compton…next to some dumb whore with 12 missing teeth and 5 kids running around, ages 4-7 screaming like it’s an amusement park!!
She’s screaming at them in spanish to stop playing tag around the god damn benches, next to my body while I’m in a deep fucking sleep….
The moral of the story is…..
Make sure you bring a bat next time, to start swinging at the fucking nightmare your going to have for the rest of your life…..