I watched part of Gone With The Wind today
I have no fucking clue what forced me to do this, maybe that’s why my dog doesn’t talk to me either now!!
I found out later…after I woke up from a fucking coma, that a diabolical being came into my body and pressured me into acting like a jackass…and recited the National Anthem in satanic speech to my dog, and I guess somehow this demon popped in Gone With The Wind for some fucked up reason.
Actually, the real reason was because I played so much fucking xbox my thumbs were bleeding worse than a homeless guy with an arrow through his chest… and I was bored out of my ass hairs, so why not throw in a shitty, sappy ass….. love story with tears and an ending that was worse than “Speed 2 Cruise Control”
I realized Clark Gables acting is worse than that little bitch who was cheering for Sanjaya on American Idol…I also learned that I will never, ever watch a movie where the critics think it is the greatest movie ever made. I made that fatal mistake when I was forced to buy a ticket to Titanic (maybe that diabolical being really does have feelings)
The next thing I know…I’m in a fucking trance, my body’s as lifeless as the blow up doll David hasselhoff keeps in his fucking tool shed, my head’s in the popcorn bucket snoring like a polar bear during hibernation season…and I have some big, tall, ape looking mother fucker tapping me on the shoulder, saying he needs to clean the aisle I’m sleeping in
I look at his tag and it says “Hank…theatre cleaner”
I look up in a daze and credits are rolling on the screen, while elevator music is blaring in the background at 150,000 decibels.
When I got in the movie theater…it was after my 13th birthday party, when I got out……. I was older than Christ. Everyone was staring at me like I had a quarter pounder with cheese stuck between my ass cheeks…
This whole experience was insanely fucking nuts, like a rabid werewolf ready to chomp down on your nuts…because you sprayed it with mace
Next time I hope this fucking demon will rob a bank… or at least have me knife someone for there money and jewels……fucking bastard!!!