You have to love community service I know I do!!!
Remind me to tell the judge next time that I would rather rot in prison for life getting ass fucked by “Hank The Homosexual”
Here’s an idea..
let’s pick up every piece of trash on the side of the road with a stick that snaps off like Michael Jackson’s fucking nose when you try poke through a soda can. Let’s also have 22 garbage bags they use to wrap up homeless people in the dead of winter in Alaska…. sticking out of my pockets, my ass cheeks, my ear lobes…. and any other fucking hole that can hold 32 more bags ……just so I can throw the bag into the god damn sewer system, and interrupt the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gangbang with April…while Casey Jones is crying in the corner, and Splinter’s filming it.
Raphael couldn’t blow his load because the foot clan crashed through the ceiling, so they had to re-film it….. this time that crazy fucking rat on steroids got a piece… and Master Shredder died of heat exhaustion for leaving his fucking helmet on the whole time.
Let’s try to schedule community service either when the wind is blowing harder then the end of the world, and Donald Trump has to re-staple his toupee every god damn 3 seconds…. or when there is a typhoon knocking over all the Jap’s in Hong Kong, making a tidal wave the size of Mothra
Fortunate for me, I had it when it was fucking hotter than standing on the equator while a Volcano was spewing Lava on my skull….all the while my flesh is getting torn off the bone like a pack of irate chimps eating a human…it’s like taking a swim through hell
To top it off they make you wear this bright orange flourescent vest, so everyone that passes you on the road can zoom by and splash mud on your chest like it’s a fucking biker rally in the back woods of Tennesee…..all the while honking repeatedly like an LSD addict and waving the middle finger at you, like you just murdered a puppy
Isn’t paying the court fees enough, I had to file for bankruptcy after the judge slammed his gavel. Now my credit’s worse than an illegal immigrant, trying to buy a shack in the woods…so his wife Gabriella and there 29 kids could live the american dream.
Next time I’ll be sure to drive my car off a burning cliff and then celebrate in the seventh circle of hell; that I have escaped the wrath of the court system..